Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Mother of invention

You know, we're so privileged to live in a marvelous time and a wonderful country in which we are afforded a vast array of inventions and advancements to improve the quality and comfort of our lives.

Side note to Wikipedia: are you kidding me? The last major technological innovation in the United States was the production of compact discs?

Don't get me wrong: I'm a huge fan, but they're nearing obsoletion, right? Am I right? I think I am. Yes: and they were actually hatched in Germany.

Ach du lieber.

Okay, Americans: clearly, it's time for us to get cracking on some fancy new widgets to make the world a better place. Might I make one teeny-tiny suggestion?

Could someone smarter and much more engineery than me please, for the love of Pete, develop some sort of tracking device for essential toys and transitional objects?

So that, when you have reached the end of the day and the very end of your rope, and your not-quite-three-year-old bursts into tears because he has suddenly misplaced the small blue car that's been clutched in his hand all day long, until this very minute, which he must have?

BECAUSE HE JUST MUST. HAVE IT. RIGHT NOW.

And so you go scouring the house, high and low, top to bottom, while he and his siblings gleefully untuck themselves from their beds and begin running wildly around the house in their footie pajamas, and if it weren't so incredibly cute you might completely lose your mind.

Eventually, you do unearth the car, which is, of course, hiding behind your bathroom door, even though you don't remember ever seeing said child anywhere near your bathroom, but you basically have to begin the entire bedtime routine over again.

And that's when you realize what genius, what ingenuity, a tracking device would be. Far more useful than, say, a cotton gin.

So get to it, people. Time, it is a wasting.

P.S. To end things on a note of hope and optimism and sheer innovation so brilliant it may frighten you, I lead you here.

7 Comments:

Blogger Tracey R. said...

I have 2 words for you.

Paraplegic. Spiderman.

5:11 AM  
Blogger Mama Drama Jenny, the Bloggess said...

If Eli Whitney was alive today he'd totally be focused on this problem transitional object tracking system.

Wait...is Eli Whitney alive?

PS. Latest technological breakthrough? Tap-lights.

5:55 AM  
Blogger Marlee said...

Hasn't someone invented this already? You know, The Clapper? Didn't they have one that would help you find your keys if you clapped your hands?

You could just duct-tape the keys to the little blue car... ;)

9:26 AM  
Blogger life with the wisners said...

i mean, do you really want to get me started? really?

12:38 PM  
Blogger sarah kate said...

had us on the floor her at the ol' jobby job. again. when these 1st came out we joked that if the studio continued to lose $ we'd all be forced into using these things. but oh, the possibilities!

10:44 AM  
Blogger courtney said...

amy...where are you? what happened to blogging everyday? we miss you. hope all if okay!

7:32 AM  
Blogger Debbie said...

hello hello hello...is anybody out there? I know you have some random blogs saved up that you haven't posted if not just post about not posting. Miss ya!!

7:31 PM  

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