Thursday, March 29, 2007

Watch your back, Dr. Seuss.

There's a new cat in town.

Long before I had ankle-biters of my very own, I pored over the works of Henkes, Boynton and Steig and nursed a secret fantasy: that I might someday write a highly successful children's book. As the years have passed, I've often wondered: when will inspiration strike?

Now, at last, I have an original idea for a book, hatched from my personal experience as a mother. Right off the bat, you know you're in for big fun, because the title is catchy and features an explanation point. Explanation points = excitement!

The working title is "HEY, YOU!" And it's all about a little boy whose mother constantly calls him by the wrong name.

Sometimes, she calls him by the first syllables, combined, of his two siblings' names: SpeKay! Occasionally, she reverses the order, as in KSpe, which is almost like a stutter. (As evidenced in illustrations: she tends to stutter and stammer and turn red in the face. A lot.)

Sometimes, oddly, she calls the little boy by his father's name, even though his father is at work and, as far as she knows, had nothing to do with the fact that every item in the boy's wardrobe has been unceremoniously stripped off its hanger and dumped in the middle of his room.

And sometimes, when her face is very red, his mother calls the little boy by the dog's name. That's especially weird, because as they discussed ad nauseum for nights on end last summer, the dog is now in Doggie Heaven. This causes the little boy to question his mother's sanity.

Oh, fine: I realize that so far, my children's tale isn't side-splitting funny in the conventional sense. However, I'm hard at work on the hilarious and adorable ending. It's gonna sell a million copies! I just know it. And it's a good thing, because the proceeds are already earmarked for Carter's future therapy sessions.

P.S. This one's for Ellie. Love you!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still have the strong faith that someday I will tell people "oh yes, that is my daughter-in-law who wrote that children's best seller." Love, Ellie

1:35 PM  
Blogger anniemcq said...

Okay, now we're even. I just woke Joe-henry up because I laughed too loud and it's late, and now I'll wake up with a crick in my neck because I'll have to snuggle him back to sleep and I'll fall asleep in an unfortunate position.

But it was worth it. Damn, this is funny.

12:25 AM  

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